The hardest thing to do in life

What is the hardest thing to do in life?

Years ago during my darkest moment in life, this question came up to me a few times. Dying? That’s easy. It is much easier to die than it was to live. This idea of living is too difficult and painful came and sat with me in darkness from time to time. Yes, It is true. Dying is easy and living is hard but remember those days when someone tells you not to do something but you decided to do it anyway? Well, because life is hard, I decided to do it the hard way. To live.

As it turns out the hardest thing to do in life is not live nor die. It is doing what you do in between those moments where you are struggling to decide how to live, what to live for, and whose lives are you living? The hardest thing to do is to “Let Go”. You’ve got to let go of the idea that life is hard to make life go easy.

One thing that connects us as human beings is our ability to feel pain. Whether that pain is physical or emotional, we all have experiences of being hurt. One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum.

I was standing in front of this friend of mine last year whom I had strong feelings for at the time. It was a week after my initial text expressing how I wish to determine the friendship we had. It felt hurtful to withdraw from a space that was once enjoyable but now a constant reminder of rejections and disappointments. I was asked to discuss this face-to-face. I stood in front of a closed door, while he was resting on the floor in front of me. Things were hard because we refuse to let go.

My mind was made up. Instead of pleasing others, I decided to please myself instead. I wanted to honor my authenticity and Yes, it fucking hurts.

But at that moment, I was ready to let go. I was ready to let go of what doesn’t belong to me and allow the Universe to take on its own course. I was ready to let go of the idea that "if I stay a bit longer, we can still be friends.” I also let go of hoping he could turn around and love me the same way I loved him.

Let go was painful, but it was also liberating.

I want to believe that life is made up of these mini reality courses that you have to take and pass before you enter the next stage of life. Life is hard, but if you can master these little hard lessons life is throwing at you then you can do the hard thing and you can do life.