How to survive through the Holidays?
In our life, we had come to believe that in order to be successful, we have to be somebody. We have to be like Steve Job, his leadership skills, we need to be like the sports star to be talented. We need to have a good retirement plan to be happy. This idea of keep trying to be somebody was carved into my mind and dictating the direction we are going in everyday life. - Michelle Kuei
Holidays can be tough for some people. With the pandemic limiting travel and gatherings, many are in the same boat. It's easy to get despair over the possibility of being alone.
There is this underlying perception of "Holidays' belong to those who sit around the table with big family meals filled with laughter and joy.” When this expectation is not fulfilled, it triggers our mental and emotional responses which lead to either feeling guilty for not having this or blaming ourselves or others for ruining our holidays.
The impact of Holiday Blues can be further broken down into three major areas: Emotional, Environmental, and Social. These are the 3 major contributors to stir up our feelings about the beliefs we have about the Holidays.
How does Emotion contribute to what we feel?
For many, particularly those who are single, divorced, widowed, or estranged from family, this long stretch from Thanksgiving through New Year's can be lonely, stressful, and depressing. During the time of grieving, mourning for the lost, people are unable to focus on planning or taking action.
Therefore, instead of planning ahead to avoid being alone by doing things like reaching out to friends, calling someone, or visiting a relative, many people find themselves spending the day by themselves and comparing themselves to those who aren’t. As a result, one feels sad, depressed, lonely, and isolated.
How does the Environment contribute to what we feel?
In light of the pandemic, many Californians will be facing the new restriction on safer at-home orders that was announced yesterday through Christmas. Many people who are already vulnerable and susceptible to depression can be deeply affected by natural disasters such as a pandemic, destructive hurricanes, tsunamis, and earthquakes, as well as man-made catastrophic and traumatic events.
While we may not have control over the weather, it helps to understand the factors that affect your mental health, including people you spend time with, what you eat, how much you exercise, and even the weather.
How does our Social Life contribute to what we feel?
Studies have shown that people who are more socially connected to family, friends, or their community are happier, physically healthier and live longer, with fewer mental health problems than people who are less well connected. The social distance and security measures we have experienced during this pandemic have affected the relationship among people and their perception of empathy toward others resulting in more stress, anxiety, and depression.
The limiting beliefs we have about what Holidays mean have a great impact on our overall mental and emotional wellness which also affected how well we manage these stressors when we become more aware of them.
Here are 3 tips that you can put into practice today in surviving through the Holidays. If you or someone you know might be experiencing moderate to severe symptoms of Holiday Blues, be sure to reach out and ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone.
Understand your emotion and know that you are not alone. Practicing mindfulness and identifying your feelings can help to build on self-compassionate muscles.
Find ways to make you feel less alone. Join a group and utilize teleconferencing to meet virtually if social distancing is a concern in your area. Reach out and call someone you know. Invite them to your party.
Change the way you think about the Holidays. Self-sabotaging ideas that Holidays are supposed to be in a certain way are societal and cultural beliefs many of us have. Changing our perceptions of this idea will lead to our ability to access a more creative way of celebrating the Holidays.
The bottom line on how to survive through the Holidays or any particular day when you feel isolated? Try not to force yourself to have a certain type of holiday experience this year, or for "things to 'be a certain way.” Keep it simple, keep it real and remember that spending alone can be a very enjoyable experience if you make time for yourself and practice self-compassion.
