Are you afraid of public speaking?
Earlier last week, I was speaking to a room full of corporate folks. Two days, multiple presenters, a packed agenda.
When it was my turn, I started with a question.
Who here is afraid of public speaking?
Almost every hand in the room went up.
I'd be willing to bet yours would too.
My fear didn't start where you'd think
I wasn't always afraid of being seen.
When I was nine years old, my elementary school in Taiwan ran an anti-spy campaign. Kids would get up in front of the school and give speeches. Most of the kids hated it. I loved it.
I had the traits for it. I liked performing. My parents leaned in. My dad made me drums and pom poms and bought me karaoke machines so I could perform at family events. Speaking in front of people felt like play.
Then a car accident changed everything.
After that, I became self-conscious about my body. The more I noticed my own differences, the more fear I had about being seen. The stage I used to love became the place I most wanted to disappear.
The man in the corner of the stage
A few weeks ago, I was standing in the back of a room watching a man present.
His shoulders were tight. His voice was shaky. He was hiding in the very corner of the stage, like he was trying to make himself smaller. Like if he could just get through his slides, he could be done with this and leave.
Imagine you're him.
Where would you stand?
If you're like most people, you'd do exactly what he did. You'd shrink. You'd look down at your slides. You'd try to get through it without being too seen.
That's the fear of public speaking in real time. It doesn't show up as panic. It shows up as smallness.
What this has to do with your coaching business
Here's what most coaches don't want to hear.
If you're afraid of public speaking, you're probably also afraid of the things that grow your coaching business.
Not because they're the same thing. Because they come from the same root.
Being seen.
Speaking up on a livestream. Hosting your own webinar. Saying yes to a podcast interview. Standing up at a networking event and saying here's who I am and here's what I do.
Those things terrify a lot of coaches. And the fear sounds different on the surface. I don't have anything new to say. I'm not ready yet. I sound weird on video. I need more training first.
Underneath, it's the same thing. I don't want them to see me and find me lacking.
Why this matters more for coaches than almost anyone
Public speaking is one of the fastest ways to build authority and attract paying clients. Not because you have to be on a TED stage. Because every form of getting visible is a version of public speaking.
A podcast interview is public speaking.
A webinar is public speaking.
A live training in your group is public speaking.
A 30-second clip on Instagram is public speaking.
If fear is keeping you small in any of those rooms, it's costing you clients.
How to start moving through it
You won't think your way out of this. You'll move through it.
Here's what works for my clients:
1. Start where you can be brave. If a stage feels impossible, do a livestream. If a livestream feels impossible, do a podcast. If a podcast feels impossible, record a video for your email list. The form matters less than the practice.
2. Have a core message. Most fear shows up when you don't know what you're saying. Build one talk you can give in your sleep. Use it everywhere.
3. Stop trying to feel less afraid. You won't. Speakers who look calm are not less afraid. They've learned to act anyway.
4. Watch the man in the corner. If you find yourself shrinking, if you hear your own voice get shaky, if you're trying to disappear into your slides, that's the moment to take one step toward the front of the stage. Literally or metaphorically.
5. Build a culture of practice. The fear doesn't disappear. It quiets when speaking becomes ordinary instead of rare.
You can love this
Here's what I want you to know.
I went from a kid who loved a stage, to a woman who avoided being seen, to someone who now speaks for a living and helps coaches do the same.
The fear didn't go away. I learned to navigate it.
If you can start by learning to navigate yours, I bet you'll enjoy the time on stage more often than not. I bet you'll look more confident next time. I bet you'll start to actually love public speaking.
And the visibility you've been avoiding? It will quietly start filling your client roster.
Ready to use speaking and visibility to grow your coaching business?
If you're a coach who knows being seen is the next step, but the fear has been keeping you small, I'd love to help. We'll look at where you're holding back, what's costing you clients, and the simplest next move.
