How to silence your negative self-talk?

“You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. …And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others.” -Leonardo de Vinci

I was invited to speak on a podcast earlier today and during the recording, I was asked this question “How to silence your negative self-talk?”

What is self-talk?

I believe there had been numerous experts on explaining what self-talk is, this concept of having self-talk has created such a perception where people think & feel that having them is such a bad thing. It is something we need to get rid of and stop doing right away if we want to live a life we dream.

The idea of “you are bigger than your self-talk” has been talked about on television, podcast, radio talk show, articles, books, etc. So the concept of “self-talk” is nothing new. But if it’s been talked about, learned and shared so many times, why aren’t you doing it?

The answer is within “YOU”.

Have you ever thought about why you do something so religiously compare to other things in your life? What is it about drinking coffee rather than tea makes you more inclined even though you have read numerous articles on the benefit of drinking tea? Or why is it after signing up programs after programs, yet you are still unable to “silencing” your own negative self-talk?

Here’s why. You weren’t connected to the action of your choice. You haven’t quite figure out what it would mean to you if you can live a life without fear, being able to get up and believing in yourself that you got this and you can do anything you set your mind to accomplish. You haven’t been making that final step of commitment to change your life and the way you view things about yourself and others. The answer to how to silence your negative self-talk lies within you. You are the problem.

A couple of years ago I was talking to a friend of mine who wants to be a music producer. He’s talented, creative, has a great vision about his life and where he wants to be. But there’s been several setbacks and delays that got into the way between him and his success. He is fully aware, highly conscious and is able to tolerate being just enough, but he knew that this is not the life he wanted. It was fear that was holding him back.

Everything you want is on the other side of FEAR.

Being aware of having this self-talk which leads to fear is not good enough. It will get you started to recognize your own self-talks. Awareness will allow you to catch your own negative self-talk before it goes wild. But that alone is not good enough. Getting rid of your negative self-talk takes to process and steps.

Accepts what is

“Accepting what is” doesn’t mean that you passively do nothing in your action. Accepting requires you to sit down and examine the truth behind your self-talks. Are you really not good enough? Are you really making a bad choice? Are you really being honest with yourself?

Accepting is the act of knowing this is the situation you are in, am I being realistic? what are the facts and what are just stories you made up to convince yourself you are wrong, broken, or missing?

Making Conscious Choice

Once you become aware of your self-talk and accepting what your reality is, then you are ready to make a choice. You can choose to believe your negative self-talk or you can choose to go to the opposite of fear. Will you get hurt? Perhaps. Will you fail? Maybe. But bravery doesn’t come to you, you have to go to bravery. Bravery is not going to drop from the sky and fall on your laps as you waiting for life to happen to you. You have to make a choice and go out to get it.

As go start putting yourself out there and begin living your life in such a way that you honor yourself with authenticity, you begin to step into fearlessness and confidence. You are more likely to share and be vulnerable in showing your strength as well as your weakness because of you no longer afraid of how others might see you. Because you know, you ARE bigger than your fear. You are braver than your self-talks. You begin to make connections to others in such a way that opens up the door of every opportunity, and you are experiencing life to its fullest rather than thinking you are in the bottom of a shit hole. You become invincible. You become fully engaged in life. You become unstoppable.

Sept 16, 2016, Inti Punka, Machu Picchu Peru http://instagram.com/elevatelifecoach

These are the steps on how to silencing your negative self-talk. They’re easy and there is no secrete behind them. Everyone can do this but here is the catch; you have to do the work.

This is the process of self-mastery, it doesn’t just come overnight. It may take you several days, weeks, months, years or the entire lifetime. But you have to do the work and practice them.

If you keep getting stuck in any one of these steps, then perhaps you haven’t fully understood and connect to why you wanted it in the first place. Why do you want a bigger house? Why do want to become a music producer? Why does it have to be that ONE thing? Why coffee and not tea?

Once you’ve figured out what is it that you want so badly for yourself, then you have every reason to get up in the morning and fuel with fire in your heart, eliminating your self-talks and go out to get it. You are not afraid to fail, you will never be afraid to fail because you know that every moment is meant for you to be something far greater than your own negative self-talk.

Warmly,

Michelle