Self Consciousness

My friend and I met up earlier this afternoon to grab lunch. The last time I saw her was back in September. She looked stressed, overwhelmed and perhaps not at her best last time I saw her. We set up our meeting today at a local restaurant close to home. I arrived at the restaurant early and couldn’t help but admire the successful branding of the restaurant.

Clean & Sleek, a welcoming color pallet of blue and brown really stood out for me. The restaurant is located centrally in a town that is occupied by mostly 30–50 of age working class. Young, vibrant, unconventional ways of taking orders, distributions and service. It makes perfect sense why the restaurant would be packed with customers on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

I stood at the front of the restaurant contemplating the things I can learn from this restaurant and apply that to my own branding.

My friend arrived after having to struggle a bit with parking outside. We greeted each other with warm hugs and couldn’t wait to start chatting away and give each other updates on our lives since we saw each other last time. We placed our orders and found a table to sat down. Soon after, our food arrived and we were still chatting about her trip to Australia last year. Halfway through the conversation, she paused, and she asked if I could smell the garlic breathe from her.

I laughed.

“No”, I said with the most sincerity.

My friend went on explaining how she took some garlic pills earlier before she came out to meet me in order to combat her symptoms of coming down with a cold. She was worried that I might smell the garlic breathe as she’s passionate about sharing her adventure in Australia. I nodded and reassured her that it’s nothing to worry about.

Our conversation went on and then she noticed one of her earrings was missing. We both looked around our table and where we were sitting prior but nothing was found.

“I didn’t even realize it was missing at all until you pointed it out,” I said to her. “I’ve been to a couple of places but I thought I had it on. Where did I drop it?” Now I look silly.” She said.
“You don’t look silly. I didn’t even notice you had them on.”

She took off her other earing and secured it in her purse. We ended our lunch on a happy note while looking forward to our next gathering.

Soon after I got home, I received a text message from her.
“I found my earring! It’s home.” she texted.

This is how our mind works most of the time. We focus on many little things in our lives and being self-conscious about having them. Whether it is the garlic breath or a missing earring.

Our perceptions of what is real and true are often obscured from the reality. The idea of someone else might notice our flaws, imperfections but when in reality no one else ever noticed. There are a number of great things we can do with this ability to self-reflect, self- awareness, and self-consciousness. We can improve, grow and learn from these imperfections, but we can also trigger our defense of protective mechanisms by criticizing, judge, or worrying. This is how self-talks become amplified.

What if you were to find humor behind this imperfection? What if you were to share this awkward moment openly with others? After all, don’t we all have one of those moments that makes us more human than ever?

My friend looks amazingly calm and peaceful this time I see her. She had a glow on her face when she walked into the restaurant, so it’s no wonder why I didn’t notice she had a missing earring, and it’s no wonder I didn’t pay attention to what kind of breathe she smelled like. She was just perfect.