Happy People, Happy Thoughts
A couple of years ago, I was at a conference with the non-profit organization I belong to at the time. It was in March and we had just celebrated International Women’s Day at a local fitness facility. Our panelists consisted of two prestige women well known in the field of their expertise: A woman wrestler and a best-selling author and feminist activist.
At the end of the panel discussion, this question came up from the audience.
“Why aren't many women in the fitness world? And why do they hesitate to join a fitness program?"
This question led to a discussion from several members of the audience. I also shared my story in relation to why I hesitated in the past to work on my physical wellness.
“For me, it was fear,” I said.
It was the fear of being stared by people because of my physical limitation or also commonly known as physical “disability”. I did what many people with physical limitations would do when they have fear; I avoid any type of physical activity altogether.
With this approach, I was able to avoid facing my own fear of judgments, but it also made me feel left out from conversations with friends. I could never participate in conversations that involve "Healthy Diet", "Boot Camp," "Cycling," "Hiking".
Living with a physical disability in this world is hard. Going to a grocery store and cannot reach the items on the top shelf is challenging, unable to find garments that fit the misshapes of my body is frustrating. Nevertheless, the most difficult aspect of living with the disability is the negative self-talk I have been giving to myself. The weight of these fear translated into physical influences on my health. I was gaining weight, my cholesterol was going up and my health started to deteriorate.
On average, humans go through 65,000 thoughts per day; we wake up in the morning and think our hair is too messy, our eyebrows too thin, our ears too big, our hands are too small, our bank account does not have enough money, our colleagues too lazy, and the list goes on.
That sense of inadequacy, not being good enough, being shy to speak up in front of people, being afraid of sharing pain, believing you are the only one feeling it this way.
You may be looking at a beautiful dress, wishing you had the body to wear it. You may have always wanted to be a writer, but you feel you are not good at writing. You have a dream, but you think you are not good enough for your dream.
How do you free yourself? How do we overcome the fear of judgment so that we can authentically reconnect with one another through open discussion? To embrace each other’s differences and to love one another unconditionally?
The pitfall many people, including myself, fall into when setting goals is jumping right into the action stage without spending time gaining awareness, clarity, and exploring choices. Comparing ourselves with others is something we all do. The grass is greener on the other side syndrome. However, we cannot help it, can we?
Confidence in yourself is critical to living a joyful life. If you do not trust yourself, you will find people and things to place your trust in, and you will slowly give away your power. You will notice that the happiest people you meet are those that are truly confident in themselves, their strength, their weakness and they accept it all fully and completely. They are not trying to be something that they are not.
We must begin to challenge the way we think about our thinking so that we can question our conscious and unconscious ways of being and interacting with the world. We must define our challenge by focusing on facts and feelings. We must be willing to step outside of the box and commit to framing positive thinking towards our life experiences. We have to rewire our brains to support and meet our goals.
Confidence begins with awareness, acceptance, and choice. Every decision you make will shape your life and your destiny. What you think will become your reality.
with love,
Michelle
