What to Do When You Are Lonely | Tips to Cope With Loneliness

A Few days ago, I came across an elderly woman who posted on the public forum an interesting comment. She said she felt lonelier after reading the books and gone on this journey of self-awareness and self-improvement. She felt she no longer wish to associate with people who don’t share the same spiritual interest and that she felt frustrated when she talks to them.

Which raises this series of questions on “loneliness”, why can loneliness be painful to deal with? Is it something everyone experiences at times?

Like all living beings, human thrives in a community. No matter what type of personality you have, whether introverted or extroverted, it is our natural response to be in a community and to feel connected. But just like any emotions, sadness, happiness, joy, as well as loneliness, are shared by all beings. We cannot survive by ourselves, and there is an interconnectedness that brings all of us together.

Loneliness itself is not painful.

It is a bodily response through which we feel a lack of the connection we need to the world. What created this connection can be a number of things; stress, abandonment, feeling of not heard or seen, and maybe sometimes trauma. It is painful because we feel and perceive our circumstances through the eyes of a victim. Lack of connection to the world leads to the feeling of loneliness. And it is real, and it is shared by everyone.

What are some ways to cope with or manage loneliness?

Because loneliness is a feeling, it’s an emotion and therefore just like any other emotion, it will come and go and it will pass.

Acknowledge to whatever is going on right now. If it is a loss of loved ones, acknowledge the fact that you are in grief. And it is quite normal and perfectly understandable why you would feel lonely.

Validate your circumstance. If it is abandonment, validate the fact that this has created an unpleasant feeling for you. What has been brought to the surface? What have you noticed as you go through this experience? You may be alone, but you are not alone. What you feel and how you feel is shared by others when they feel lonely.

Try new things. Pick up a new habit. Start by reigniting the passion you have in life and when you begin to follow that passion, listening to your heart, you begin to notice your energy will attract like energy and there you start to create a new connection.

Understand that everyone has their journey and every journey is unique and different. Differentiating yourself from the so-call narrow-minded people sounds like ego speaking.

Rather than alienating yourself with your circumstances and being the victim of your own story, start by looking at it as everyone is going through different stages of growth. You are not different from the stranger sitting next to you on a train.

There is no “this is me” and “that is them”. There is only “Us”. We all want to be happy and we all want to be free from suffering. Whether you are at the beginning of the journey or have traveled quite a distance on the path, knowing that all these feelings of frustrations, uncertainties, fear, loss, loneliness, they are all normal. You may feel lonely sometimes, but I can assure you that you are never alone.

If you’re lonely, should you take it as a sign that it is time to make more connections? What are some good ways to go about doing so?

Having this awareness of loneliness is a great guidepost for us to learn and grow. Emotions serve as a force that is essential for translating intellectual understanding into positive action. Maybe making new connections would fix the problem right away but until we take our time to practice awareness and acceptance, and learn more about who we truly are, this loneliness will come back every time.

Loneliness is a great tool and a valuable lesson to discover who we are. We learn to understand more about ourselves, our values, our likes, and dislikes. You can build a stronger and better connection when you understand who you are rather than just blindly following the crowd and make a new connection.