What is normal for you?
“For me, the word “normal” is defined by my own physical appearance as it relates to others. My idea of a normal person comes from all the images I’ve seen in textbooks, on social media, and even though observing human anatomy in the general population.” — Michelle Kuei/Perfectly Normal: an immigrant’s story of making it in America
For a very long time, I didn’t know that people can see the end of the engine hood cover when they drive. Ever since I learned how to drive, it’s always been the case where I sink into the driver seat behind the wheel and I can only see the top end of the engine hood cover. Many people have asked me whether or not I drive a regular car or a custom made car to accommodate the shortness of my height.
My parents bought my first car for me when I was going away to college. It was a Dark Green Nissen, Sentra with the most basic interior. I was happy and content with my car. It was the perfect size for me without any customizations. I own this car for the following 15 years. It was a great car, never failed on me.
I bought my own car after I found my job and it was finally time to retire my Nissen. I considered it an upgrade from a Nissen to a Camry and not to mention it was the first time I had a CD player in my car. I was thrilled and loved my Camry very much. A couple of years ago, while going to my friend’s wedding, someone rear-ended my Camry. Luckily no one got hurt, but it completely destroyed my Camry and forcing me to move on to my third car, a Honda.
No matter which model I have, what kind of car I drive, I was never able to see the end of the engine cover.
One day, I was driving, my mom was sitting in the passenger seat and we pull into a parking spot between two cars that were really tight. Then she said to me “oh that was close. Were you able to see the hood cover? I couldn’t have parked in this spot cause I can’t see.”
Wait, what? What do you mean seeing the end of the hood cover?
It finally occurred to me, that’s what people usually see. They are able to see the end of the engine hood cover when they drive. It is completely normal to see the hood cover. This really fascinated me, because ever since I learned how to drive, I never knew to see the end of the hood cover might make my navigation easier.
The truth is I thought what I see if perfectly the way everyone else sees. It never occurred to me that the way I view through my windshield is entirely different from how others are seeing things. This was mindblowing for me.
If you were to think back time in your life where you had this same experience, you noticed the differences of how you view life and everything else that was around you is quite different from how others view life, what was that experience?
The idea of cultivating positivity is not a strange concept to many people. But as long as you carry any type of assumptions and pre-existing beliefs, no matter how much of positivity you want to cultivate, the result is never sustainable. Without diving deeper into the core source of what had been stopping us from seeing, we will never be content and be fulfilling what we have in front of us. The problem isn’t about what’s going on outside, the problem is always coming back to what is it that you are not seeing.
As you go on for the rest of the year, perhaps there are things you have been doing for a very long time, that just works for you. You have a feeling of being “OK” but feel there might be something better. Perhaps you are going through the same route every morning, answering that phone call with the same voice. What if you were to take off the shaded lenses you’ve been wearing to see the true color of the world.
Maybe this is you. Seating behind the wheel in the driver seat.
I have learned on this journey to see things with possibilities. Every situation and circumstances, there is a hidden gem and beautiful lesson we ought to learn. It takes 1 second to react and panic, but it only takes an extra second to see possibilities.
If you are someone who is sitting home right now thinking, contemplating, frighten by life circumstances, ask yourself which angle are you seeing this? Is it based on Fear? Is this based on conscious awareness? What else are you not seeing? Be curious, learn and grow.
Warmly,
Michelle
