self doubt


What is self-doubt? Look into the mirror and who do you see? How do you see yourself? Who is that person standing in front of you? What messages are you sending to yourself everyday as you wake up to brush your teeth? 

Self-doubt is as real as it can be. It is living in every single one of us. It is the gremlin, the dragon, the monster, and that vicious animal had been haunting us from the past till present. Self-doubt is debilitating. It is a major hump we have to climb over. It is the annoying rock in our shoes.  Self-doubt is the reason why we feel stuck on the merry-go-round. 


I had an online video conference with a client the other day. I asked him what is the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of him and happiness? He told me “Love”. He told me that he is not very lucky with it comes to “love” and that he felt he always attracts the wrong type of person and always end up as a failure in this subject. I asked him to elaborate on that thoughts and it turns out it is not that he was doing anything wrong. What was causing him to feel that way had everything to do with self-doubt. The mindset of “I am not good enough” was behind everything he described to me as being not-so-lucky kind of guy. 

Sounds familiar to you? Have you ever had those “aha moment”? 


Yes, It may be true for what happen in the past to my client will happen again. But, wait. Things that had happen in the past, will they really happen again? Is that an assumption we are making based on our past experience or is there a written law telling you that is a fact? How true is your assumption? How much truth is there behind the assumption you have made? Probably not much. 

What is true may not be the TRUTH. 

Instead of focusing on all the experiences that didn’t work out in the past, Let’s re-focus on the fact why we think we are not good enough in the first place. Where did we get that idea from? Not all relationships work out the way we want them to be. If all relationships work out the exact way we want them to be, I think all the marriage counseling therapist would be out of jobs. Obviously, when it comes to interaction with another person, there are going to be a lot of challenges. But instead of paying our attention to what didn’t work out, why not focus on how to make it work out? Instead of paying attention on how to change the other person, why not focus on how we can improve ourselves? 

Do you see all the good qualities about yourself? Do you love yourself? How do you love yourself? If all the work had been done and completed on yourself, what would that ideal person be like? Would you still think it was a failure? 


What is the most powerful thing you can do when you wake up tomorrow morning and ready for a change? 

Look into the mirror and tell yourself this: “I CAN and I WILL.” 

Of course you can find that person to sit back on a lazy day, hold each other and watch a Netflix. Of course you can drop that extra 10-pounds of weight and look fabulous and radiant. Of course you can get that job you have been dreaming about all your life.  You CAN and You WILL. Because everyone of us have that little voice in our head, that monster come out whenever we feel we are ready to take the next step, or that dragon you keep fighting and losing on the battle field. 

Bringing that monster into the light, give it a name, call it whatever you like would immediately diminish the power it has upon us. Destroy that self-doubt by recognizing those unique qualities you possess. Let those unique qualities come into your life. Show them to the world. Make your true self known.




Been Hurt in the Past? Check out This article on “How to Mend A Broken Heart“. 

To stay connected. Follow me on Instagram @elevatelifecoach

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