Breaking Bad

How much are you willing to pay for your own worth?

In a recent conversation I had with a potential client who was looking for ways to quit smoking; she made a comment when I offered my service as a coach. I introduced myself as life coach very up front so that she will not misunderstood my intention. She acknowledged and I proceed with asking her how she would like this conversation to be continue. She than asked me if I was going to provide the coaching free of charge.

Well, please do not get me wrong. I do pro bono coaching and I dived into coaching business with no intention to make six digits income. Yes, It would be nice if that comes with it but is it a necessity for survival? Absolutely not. 

However, when I had the conversation with her, it was not my intention to provide this one free of charge. She was upset by my respond to her that service fee will be incurred should she decide to proceed with coaching. It was not to my surprise that her tone of voice changed as soon as my reply to her question on how much it would cost.

Before she abruptly ended our conversation, she made this comment.
“Why would I pay you when I can get free advice from a lot of people on Facebook!”

It was not an appropriate time for me to respond to her comment. Nevertheless, here is the truth.

Yes, of course we all have done this. Seeking advices from different people at different time and different places. Many people freely offer their advice to you and willing to share their experiences with you on how they have overcome their challenges in life. People offer great advices when it comes to dealing with other people’s issues. Yes! She was right about getting free advices from social media, friends, networks, etc. And what she feels about paying someone to get “advices” is completely normal.

Here is the catch.
“How is that working out for you?”

We have also done this consciously and unconsciously, seeking advices from your friends, colleagues, and people within your network and from strangers on social media is probably the quickest way and most convenient way for solving our problems. I am sure there are plenty of successful stories out there where you quit a job because of someone gave you an advice. Or you sign up to a gym because someone gave you an advice. What about quitting smoking? I am sure if you look for advice, there are a great number of people who can share their experiences on how they quit smoking themselves.

Question is how effective do you think that method is for you? How many times have you find yourself running into the same problem, same routine, or same habit again? Why do you think that is the case?

The Answer to your own problem is within you.

Not everyone have the right tools to find those answers within us. Many of us actually underestimate our own true value. While others are freely and willingly to provide you with their two cents on the problem you are experiencing, what we failed to realize is that those advices we get are actually other people’s experiences.

Everyone has their own journey. How they feel about certain issues may not even be an issue with you. How others experience things is different from how you experience things. We see the world not as it is but as what we think it is.

So, Sure. She has absolute right to feel she shouldn’t have to pay for advice on how to quit smoking, but when it comes to sustainability and consistency, it is likely for her to find herself falling back into relapse of old habits.

Sure. I can give you some advice on quit smoking and here they are:
1. Get rid of all those cigarettes you have at home, at work, or wherever you are hiding them.
2. Go to a pharmacy and buy some nicotine patches. If you smoke 1 pack a day, start with 21mg and use one patch everyday for 14 days. Then you decrease it to 14mg everyday for 7 days, follow by 7mg everyday for 7 days. If you feel an urge to smoke, try nicotine gum along with the patch.
3. Read some self-help book and be mindful about not smoking.

There, here are advice to quit smoking. Question is how effective do you think these are? How many times have your tried this yourself and didn’t really work for you?


The greatest freedom is the freedom of choice. –IPEC coaching foundation principle. 

Whether you take that first step to make a sustainable change in your life or not is entirely up to you. 


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